Only a matter of time.

Uh huh. Ok, so I turned on the TV and switched over to the Fine Living Network (because, as I've told Linda many many times, I live a life of high glamour). And I'm watching this commercial for one of their newer shows in which people are given a chance to live out their dream occupation with the help of others already in the industry. For example, this DJ in Los Angeles who wants to get into the record industry and start producting at some point so they hook him up with some record industry professionals already running their own label. And hey, this DJ guy is quite a hottie... actually he looks strangely familiar... holy cow... I know that guy! Holy poo... I dated that guy (man. He stills looks adorable, too).

So I suppose it was bound to happen, I mean with all the reality shows out there we're very likely to see someone from our past pop up when we least expect it. But still. It's way weird.

(P.S. Yes, like the very honest and devoted wife I am, I told Rusty about the show. Then informed him that I was recording it.)

Digital scrapbooking.

Digital scrapbooking. Odd phenomenon. Basically, everything you see is fake. Meaning, it's not real paper and ribbon and embellishments. It's just a file (pretty darn realistic looking files... but a bunch of pixels nonetheless). Put the files together and it looks like a scan of a real layout. A lot of people print them out and put them into books. I like to make digital layouts as wallpaper for my computer, to send email cards to people, do fun church video screen graphics (that one is for you, Betsy) and "pretty up" basic photos before I email them. An advantage to digital scrapbooking is once you buy the supplies? You can use them over and over and over... if you find a paper you like? And you use it? You don't have to go buy more. You have it. You can print it out and use it in a real scrapbook.

So. Why am I telling you this? And why is there a giant CD posted? Because I have been asked to design some digital scrapbooking kits for a fabulous site called Rocky Mountain Hobbies. Their owner, Cindy, is very nice and every experience I've had with them as been great so I said "of course I'll do it!" I've done two kits so far, the "Back to School" kit and the "Autumn Holidays" kit. They're offered as downloads or on CD (hence the ginormous CDs, above and below). By the way, the CDs in the photos? Not scans or edited photos. Totally digital.





















If you're at all interested in seeing what this stuff is, feel free to click and see my digital layouts:

"The Farm"

"Tom & Jerry - Halloween 2005"

"Autumn on Crosswick"

"Home" (this layout, as well as "Sean" and "Liam at Work" were done with elements from other sites which I did not design)

"Sean" & "Liam at work"

Click here to see the entire "Back to School" kit and click here to see the entire "Autumn Holidays" kit

Leaves on Crosswick

So, they're back. The entire yard, front and back, is covered with leaves. Actually, that's not quite true. Wednesday, Sean and I went out and raked the front yard. Yesterday was leaf pick-up for our street but we've been out of town so much over the last month that raking the yard was the last thing on our minds. I ended up taking some pictures of the yard and the street because I honestly believe we may have more leaves than anyone else in Bowie.

Ok, so anyway, Sean and I go out with our rakes - me with my normal wooden handled, green pronged "grown-up" rake, and he with his super cool, purple plastic Little Tykes rake. Personally, I'd love a purple rake. But I digress. Sean and I started raking. Sean got tired and went inside. I got tired, but had to keep raking. That's just wrong. Sean came back out and saw that I had finished the little strip between our house and Grandma Mary's house* (see photo, bottom left). He decided that he was going to help and proceeded to pick up handfuls of leaves and walked them over to the leaf pile to drop them. Sorry to gush about my kid, but it was really cute. Unfortunately, "really cute" didn't last long and Sean decided raking and the whole leaf-thing really stunk and went back inside. Until? He heard the noise.

Oh. My. Goodness. The noise. THE noise. The one that lets you know that Robert is doing something (he's our neighbor on the other side of Grandma Mary). Robert has fun tool-type stuff. And we are really very jealous. He has a riding mower. And it has a leaf vacuum attachment. And he has the biggest leaf blower I've ever seen ever. Seriously? It looks like one of those big fans my grandma's church had in their bingo hall in the summer. Yeah, it's big. So, the noise started. Robert and his dad divided and conquered - one on the mower, one with the big ol' blower. There were leaves flying everywhere. At least eight or ten feet up in the air. They were aiming for a giant tarp that they dragged to the curb when it got almost too heavy to move. Sean came running out, saw the leaves flying and thought it was better than anything he'd seen on TV lately. He proceeded to sit down - right in the middle of the leaf pile - and watch, completely enthralled. I? Continued to rake.

Now we move on to the part of the story involving pain and relief. The pain? I was stung by a Yellow-Jacket. Good times. Relief? I sent Sean in the house right before I realized that I was stung because I had just started raking over a hole in the ground that was the opening to a Yellow-Jackets' nest. I've never heard of bees or any sting-y things building a nest or hive underground. But my friend, Claudia, said they had one this summer too. It made sense, as earlier this summer Rusty was stung three or four times while mowing the lawn but we couldn't figure out where these things had come from so fast. Now we know (yay, us)**

After I finished finding the Hornet and "things-that-will-sting-you" spray and bombing the nest, I went back to raking. And more raking. I raked for a totel of almost three hours. But for the life of me I couldn't figure out why I finished around the same time as Robert and his dad, even though they had way cooler toys than I did. Then I noticed something. They weren't working on Robert's yard anymore. They had moved to the house next door to Robert, which belongs to a single mother with three little kids. The mom works full-time and trys to keep up with the yardwork when she can. Robert and his dad proceeded to clear her entire yard for her while she was at work. Did I mention Robert is a nice guy?

So, what's the point of this post? Well, first, we have a lot of leaves (see photos). Second, educational value in finding out that Yellow Jacket's can nest underground. Consider yourself educated. Third, I thought Robert and his dad did a very nice thing and someone, somewhere, should acknowledge it. That's pretty much it.

The photos are clockwise from top left: The view of the leaf-lined street from our driveway (the brown two-story is the house Robert cleared for the single mom), our backyard with the hammock and all the trees, Sean sitting in the leaves watching Robert while picking out some keepers, and a small part of our cleared front lawn.

*Grandma Mary isn't our grandma. I refer to her as "Grandma Mary" when speaking of her because she lives right next door to us. Her daughter and son-in-law and family live next door to her on the other side. Grandma Mary's grandaughter/next-door neighbor is also named Mary. And since "Really old Mary" just sounded rude, I decided on "Grandma" instead. Also? Robert (of "Gigantic leaf-blower" fame) is Grandma Mary's son-in-law/Little Mary's dad.

**Maybe if you're all lucky I'll be able to track down the email account of Rusty's epic battle with the hornet's nest in Cincinnati, complete with detailed description of his head-to-toe "battle armor". Hee. That's a funny one. There was a hockey stick involved.

Duh.

This? Is for Linda. And all the other women out there with impeccable taste:

People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 

Joke O' the Day

A woman gives birth to a set of twins and gives them up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Middle Eastern family and named Ahmal. The other twin is adopted by a Latin American family and named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a photo to his birth mother. The mother is touched and says to her husband, "I wish I had a photo of my other son as well". Her husband says, "Why? If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Ahahahahahahahahahaha....... that was a good one.

We're back. And we have a diagnosis for Liam.

I apologize in advance because this is going to be old news to some of you by the time you read this.

So. We're back from Cincinnati (again). One baby has been born, gorgeous little Emerson Dawn. She is so adorable that it makes my ovaries hurt (must resist... urge... to have... another). Caitlin and Joel are married and the wedding chaos has settled. That leaves only one more event, and one that we are looking forward to with such anticipation it makes me teary just thinking about it. My younger sister, Lianne, is due with her first child on Thanksgiving. It is a girl. And her arrival is highly anticipated by everyone in the family, but no more so than by both her mommy and her daddy. Her daddy has already been playing with her for months now (Daddy pokes mommy's belly, baby kicks back. Repeat.). And Lianne is so perfectly suited to be a mother. She has the most nuturing personality but is also very down-to-earth. She also has a hysterically dry sense of humor that I'm sure will serve her well in the months ahead. I'm so looking forward to watching her as a mother and getting to see her start a new phase of her life with her little family.

Ok, so on to the technical stuff. Liam was officially diagnosed last Thursday. And there is good news. And then there is more good news. First, we have been told that Liam is not Autistic, nor is he dealing with any of the 200+ disorders that fall within the Autistic Spectrum. That in itself is a huge relief. Huge. During the assessment, Liam had a session with a child psychologist. Initially, they needed to test Liam's I.Q. to see what was his ability to learn. Some children have more ability and it's just blocked by something. Other children have less abilility to learn on their own and that's one reason why they're being assessed. The average child Liam's age has an I.Q. of 80 - 105, with the higher end of that range indicating a "bright" kid. So our "even more good news"? Liam's I.Q. tested at 126. The developmental pediatrician was giddy. She was just thrilled to have great news for us instead of the sometimes somber news she has to relay.

The final report we will receive on paper in a few weeks will say the following: Liam is suffering from an anxiety disorder brought on by his lack of ability to communicate his thoughts and feelings. Essentially, his communication skills haven't caught up to his thinking abilities and it's driving him batty. He knows what he thinks and wants but can't get it out right. And he thinks about a lot of things you wouldn't necessarily think a six-year old would think about. So us "taking a guess" can often times frustrate him even more. For right now, we've decided to forego anti-anxiety medication and try therapy first. The psychiatrist agreed and seems to think that Play Therapy along with Cognitive Behavior Therapy will help Liam's communication skills develop more quickly. And that development should help alliviate most of Liam's anxiety issues. If not, we'll have to reevaluate and possibly go the medication route. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So, this post in summary: One wedding down. One adorable baby born. Liam is not Autistic, and is actually quite a little smarty pants. And? One more little arrival in the next week or so (yes... can you believe Thanksgiving is next week?!). Things are looking up a bit.

Now if we could just get the !#%@*% kitchen finished!

Life and love. Or something.

Ok. So that last post? About Earl? Totally legitimate in that the TV show really does make me laugh. A lot. But the post overall was just nonsense. Filler, I guess. Sometimes I open this screen to work out some of my feelings in words and then get to the end and wonder if people really want to read this stuff. And even if they do? Will they read it and think I'm nuts?

Seeing as how there aren't, like, gobs of people reading this and the people reading it pretty much have probably formed their own opinions of me? And the fact that this is my blog, which I started initially to 1.) be able to comment on Jodi's blog and 2.) use it as a forum to work out my feelings and faith and such while occassionally posting ridiculous filler? Leads me to the conclusion that I should just write what I want to write and if it bugs anyone or appalls anyone, they have the right to not read it.

So, now I've set you up to think that there is some big huge thing I'm going to write. Some revelation or announcement or major statement. If so? You've apparently forgotten who's site you're reading. Ha.

Anyway, yeah. I'm working some things out. Mainly, thoughts on my marriage. My husband. My life at this point. First, I have to say that I really really love my husband, Rusty. Rusty is a good man. When it comes down to it you can count on him to do the right thing regardless of whether or not it's comfortable or convenient for him. Please understand, Rusty makes mistakes. Oh boy, does he make mistakes. And then? I freak out. But in the end? Hanging with him through the consequences of those mistakes? Has been painful. And confusing. And scary. But also the most transforming experiences for our relationship. I guess when you say, "Am I going to stick with this person and this commitment even though he did something stupid? Even though I'd be totally justified in giving him the boot?" and then you decide to stick it out, you move to a new level. Admittedly, it would be a heck of a lot easier if you could get to that level without so much junk to go through.

An example: Two years ago, Rusty was involved in a car accident. It was his fault, because of something stupid that he did. Let me say up front that it was a single car accident (Rusty's car) and no one else was involved or hurt. But Rusty himself was lucky to be alive. He knew that. He knew he'd made a mistake that was going to put our family through some crap for a while. And he was sorry. Not just "I'm sorry" and then all is expected to be forgotten. He was devestated. It was plain to see. And I was totally within my right to say, "You moron! What the hell were you thinking?!". But I remember standing there looking at him and realizing that nothing I could say would make him feel any worse than he already did. So I told him that. And his face... the expression on his face was amazement mixed with overwhelming gratitude for understanding him at that very moment. He knew I wasn't happy about it. But he also knew I love him and that trumped anything else.

So we dealt with it together. And it was a lot to deal with. But amidst all of the anger and sadness and fear? I was given what I consider a huge blessing. I got to witness the true character of my husband as a man and as a Believer. Rusty's lawyer met with the judge overseeing the case and came back to tell us that he thought he could get the case dropped because of some technical loopholes. Rusty just said, "I've done something wrong and deserved to be held accountable." Even now? Thinking about that? Gives me peace that I've married a good man.

So. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing, really. Just thinking out loud... or onscreen, as the case may be.

I love Earl

Holy crap. Do you watch this show? "My Name is Earl" I hate hopping on the bandwagon with new trendy stuff but this show seriously makes me laugh out loud pretty much the entire way through. Every time we watch it. If you don't watch it, it's hard to explain without sounding a.) totally rude or b.) kind of mean. Earl is a redneck. There is no other polite way of saying it. Essentially, it's a show about a redneck criminal who goes through a series of events that lead him to the conclusion that he needs to starting righting all of the wrongs he's done to people to restore balance in his life through Karma. The fact that Earl learns his Karmic way of life from hearing Carson Daily talk about it on TV? Hysterical. Could there be a better metaphor for our culture today? Carson Daily as our pop culture savior. Oy.

Also? "My Name is Earl" is a highly quotable show. Example:

Never underestimate the power of confidence. And never underestimate fifteen beers, a little enlightenment, and the power of Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock.

The wisdom of this show is obvious, isn't it? Seriously, it's very funny. You should watch it sometime. Click here to go to the iFilm page where you can watch a video clip of "My Name is Earl".

This blog update was originally posted from Picasa

Warning: It's a little loud

**Edited to remove extremely loud and amazingly theraputic Linkin Park video "Faint"**

Ok. So I know it's Linkin Park. Please forgive me. They're a bit over-exposed (or they were a year or so ago; not quite as bad now). But I really really like the yelling right now. And some of the lyrics. I like the lyrics:

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints
but I can't help the fact that everybody can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do I can't convince you to just believe this is real
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
Cuz you don't understand I do what I can
Sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

Bah

It's been a bad week for me. I think we've covered the fact I don't handle continuous stress very well. Shocker. But for some damn reason, it keeps on coming.

Scene: Sean's pediatrician's office. Thursday, 1:00 p.m.

Dr: See those brown patches? The birthmarks?

Me: Uh, yeah?

Dr: Well, the thing is...if a kid has more than six we really should send them to a dermatologist to "rule out [insert something that starts with an "N" that even the Dr. had a hard time pronouncing]"

Me: LA LA LA LA...I'm not listening. Don't tell me. I'll take the kid to the dermatologist but don't tell me what it "could" be. I don't want to hear it right now. I'll listen to it if it turns out to be anything "for sure" and deal with it then.

Dr: I'm sure it's nothing, but you know... just to be safe. Here's the name of the dermatologist I'd recommend.

Me: Yeah. Thanks.

Nurse: Uh, doctor... you want me to pick her up or just let her lie there on the floor for a while?

(ok... so I didn't really pass out. But I'm pretty sure my mind and emotions tuned out for a while). Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing too. And I'm honestly not stressed about Sean's health. But it's one more phone call to make to one more doctor who'll have a waiting list a few months long (so my pediatrician warned). We have been doing homework with Liam all week and still have piles to make up from his week of testing. We have to go back to Cincinnati on November 11th for one more assessment appointment and the diagnosis. I have a house that looks like CRAP - it's messy and still unfinished as far as renovations go (yes, the house warrants bold, CAPITALIZED and italicized CRAP). And my husband? A complete moron sometimes.

(please... I adore my husband. He is a wonderful man and looks great in a pair of soccer shorts. But he is, at times, completely brain dead and knows how to do something just stupid enough to make me question whether his brain came unplugged).

So. Aren't you glad you stopped by? I just saw that Linda linked to me and I really do apologize to anyone who clicked there and ended up here. So sorry about that. I'd love to say I don't always whine so much, but I like honesty. It works for me. So admitting that I've been "Queen-O'-the-Whine" is pretty much all I can do at this point. Stop back later, maybe I'll post some pictures or tell a joke or something.

Monday

We're back.

Baby Emerson Dawn Kelly arrived healthy and perfectly beautiful on Sunday, October 16, at 9:06 a.m. Click here to see her adorable newborn photo. Mommy and baby are doing wonderfully, Daddy is beaming and big brother, Jacob (21 mos.), seems slightly curious but mostly oblivious.

And? Caitlin and Joel are married! The wedding was fabulous, the bride was gorgeous (seriously, she looked like an ad in a bridal magazine) and the reception was way fun. Loads of dancing, the most touching speech by a best man (Joel's brother, Jose) and 8 mos. pregnant Lianne looking way too cute in her bridesmaid's dress. Say a prayer for Caitlin and Joel that they won't get blown away by Hurricane Wilma as they venture to Disney World for their honeymoon.

As for the assessment, Liam's testing is not quite finished. We have to go back to Cincinnati on November 11th for an appointment with one more department then we'll have a diagnosis summary with his Developmental Pediatrician, Dr. Oppenheimer, later that afternoon. We love Dr. Oppenheimer. She is wonderful. Every single person we met at Cincinnati Children's Hospital was incredibly nice and for a few days it was comforting to have a team of experts taking care of Liam and documenting his challenges. Though we won't have an official diagnosis until the 11th, we were given some opinions and first impressions by the different people we saw. I'm going to try to gather my thoughts a little and write more later. The bottom line, though, is that we were told that Liam does have issues, particularly with communication. We were given some encouraging opinions as well as some sobering first-hand looks at how he processes the things he hears and what he understands about certain aspects of life around him. Obviously we'll know more after the full diagnosis. But the process has been worth going through and seeing those doctors interacting with Liam and understanding him in a way we can't has been good for us.

Photos and more to come later on.

Waiting...

So you know those funky domino things where they line up like half a million dominos then knock down the first one? And they just start falling, one after the other? Well, that's the period of our lives that my extended family is entering into. For you see, anticipation is in the air. We are waiting with baited breath. The first domino? Is falling any time. My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their second child any day now. Once I get that call that Emerson has entered the world? It's time.

**Emerson Dawn ("Emma" for short) is my highly anticipated niece due on the 13th

See, Emerson's arrival is only the beginning of the period which I've lovingly started referring to as "the craziness". Emmerson's birth (most likely this week) will be followed by Liam's assessment early next week. Liam's assessment? Will be followed up by my sister's wedding at the end of next week. Two weeks after that, early November sometime, Rusty and I will be traveling back to Cincinnati on our own for the diagnosis appointment with Liam's doctors. Then my other sister is due with her first child, a girl, on Thanksgiving Day (no name yet, but my dad has lovingly started calling her baby "Sweetie Pie". So "Sweetie" it is for now). Wrap it all up with Christmas and some family birthdays thrown in and you got yourself one heck of an exciting end-of-the-year.

I need a nap.

Hysterical laughter

Ok, so a while back Rusty and I stumbled upon a site called "The Sneeze". It's a webzine featuring a section called "Steve, don't eat it!". Steve, the author, goes to the grocery and buys one of those food items you always see but wonder if anyone actually eats them. Seriously? This could be one of the very funniest things I've ever read ever. It's gross. And the language gets bad sometimes. So be warned, it may not be for everyone.

If you read my warning and still decide to check it out? Be careful. You'll be laughing out loud, and possibly even snorting. So if you're at work or anywhere around other people while reading it? Either control yourself or tell them what the deal is so they don't think you're having some sort of spasm or something.

Click here to read "Steve, don't eat it!" . You can thank me later (or send me hate-mail. Whatever.)

In other news, my soldering skill still sucks. I actually came back to the computer to see if I could find any info on how to do this better. But amazingly enough, I didn't get any hits when I entered "solder + tips + art + sucks + burn + hate" into Google. Shocking.

It burns

So. I've been experimenting with soldering lately. You know, the soldering iron, the flux, the third degree burns.. good times. But you know what? I totally suck at it. Or at least I think I suck at it. And it's driving me crazy. Because for my entire life, one thing I could always count on was being able to make things. And dammit this isn't working!

More updates and possibly a photo (of either a finished piece or a burned body part) later on in the day.

Blessing

Sean
Originally uploaded by art chick.

Ok. So I feel kind of bad that one of the only things anyone knows about Sean from reading my blog is that he likes to go pants-free quite a bit of the time. Over the last month or so he has made great strides in rejoining the pants-wearers of the world. Of course, at this very moment, he is sitting on the floor watching TV wearing nothing from the waist down. Baby steps.

So, anyway. With all that's been going on with Liam and his upcoming assessment and everything, I've been using my blog space to work out my feelings about a lot of what's on my mind in that regard. I felt like I wanted to take some time to talk about Sean and how great he is and how Rusty and I feel really honored to be raising this child as well.

Rusty and I aren't really the type of people to go around saying things like "Verily, our children are truly a blessing to our house". Most of the time we're yelling things like, "Get your foot off of the table while you're eating" or "Close the door when you go potty. No one wants to hear that." But honestly? We believe we are blessed to have the really great kids that we have.

Sean turned four this past September. And he's everything that a four-year old should be. He's cute, he's smart, he's active and he's hysterical. He makes Rusty and I laugh and totally loves his Mommy and Daddy. He throws himself at us to give spontaneous hugs on a regular basis. He carries on little conversations with us and he knows what he likes and what he doesn't. He's hitting all of his milestones and then some. He's just a fun kid to be around.

That? Was a very hard phrase for me to type - "a fun kid to be around". I'm not sure why. Maybe because Liam, through no fault of his own, often isn't a fun kid to be around. You have to be on your guard to make sure he doesn't get upset about odd things. His outbursts are embarrassing and also make you more protective toward him because you don't want other people thinking he's just being a brat. He struggles to get complete thoughts and sentences out sometimes. A lot of times it's just harder. And for a while, I was too ashamed to write that because I really felt like it was "wrong" for me to feel that way. But after a lot of prayer and thought and maturing spiritually I am now at a place where I can say that though Liam is often a complex child to parent? I adore him. I love his quirks and his unique views of the world even though it's more of a challenge to deal with a lot of time. And I can finally say, without feeling like a bad mom, that Sean is a lot of fun to parent. And that I enjoy being his Mom in so many ways that I haven't been able to share with Liam because that just not who Liam is or what he's capable of in some ways.

While I never want Liam to feel like he isn't as good, or smart or "fun" as Sean? I also never want Sean to feel like he and his childhood have to take a backseat to Liam's issues and what we have to do to resolve and/or deal with them. Sean deserves just as much time and attention and discussion (often resulting in much laughter). I love both of our boys and I truly feel honored to have been chosen to raise them to become the men God created them to be. A little freaked out, but honored nonetheless.

Wal-Mart = Hell

I hate Wal-Mart. Or at least, I hate our Wal-Mart. It is dirty, cluttered, dirty, crowded and not stocked with anything you actually need. You honestly can't just "run in" for anything because there are only three cashiers at any given time and you have to wait 20 minutes or so in line to check out. My friend, Ashley, refuses to shop there because the last few times she's gone there have been "domestic altercations" where the police had to intervene. Honestly, my experience there has never been quite that bad. But still. It looks like a place that would have domestic altercations.

Now, I didn't always detest Wal-Mart. When we lived in Fairfield (Ohio) there was a newer Wal-Mart near us that I adored. It was clean, stocked, well-lit and organized. There were sky-lights and high ceilings. There were very nice people working there. There were even cashiers standing in front of their queues waiting to ring you up. Craziness!

So what is the point of this post? Why all the whining? Well, I succumbed to the lure of cheap-o prices yesterday and went to Wal-Mart to pick up some transparencies for an art project. It wasn't our Wal-Mart, but one a bit farther up the road. I had other errands to run, I knew Wal-Mart's prices on what I needed were $3 or $4 less than Staples, I had already checked Target with no luck and had just been putting it off so I took a chance. Sean and I went in and straight back from the entrance I happened to see the boys section with a big ol' rack of University of Maryland gear. I was sucked in. We'd purchased Maryland wear for the boys from the university bookstore on campus and the quality was very disappointing. So when I checked this stuff out at Wal-Mart and it was actually very sturdy I bought a few things for Liam and Sean. But? That was my mistake. For you see, I didn't have Liam with me. And I should have understood the law of buying clothing for children not in your presence. Because though the long-sleeved Terps t-shirt was nice? It was from Wal-Mart. A Wal-Mart not really close to home. Which means? If it doesn't fit right, it has to be returned.

Of course, you know what I'm going to write next. The t-shirt didn't fit Liam. Neither did the sweats I bought for him (I couldn't help it, people!). So I'm faced with a decision. Drive less time but wait in the inevitable long line to return the items closer to home? Or drive a while longer and wait in a shorter line (or even no line, I've seen it before). This? Is why I now hate Wal-Mart. My life is stressed out enough as it is. I don't need little irritations of my own making like this thrown in. I should really know better by now.

Favor

Having a hard day. Was wondering if you would mind saying a prayer for me, asking God to remind me that everything really will be ok.

Thanks.

Carbon Leaf

::EDITED:: The video was annoying some computers so it's gone. But you can find it at Carbonleaf.com if you want to see more. Click on their Media link once you get there.

This is for Jodi, and anyone else who thought "Who the heck is Carbon Leaf?" when they read yesterday's post.

Now Barry? He's got sneak attack hotness. Like, it doesn't hit you directly. But when I watch him sing it just... does something for me. Maybe I just like guys that sing. I mean, Harry Connick Jr. was on the list. And Jason Mraz wasn't but he's cute too.

I read this little blurb from Barry (the lead singer) and liked how real he seemed about writing music that translates into something for people:

"I walked to the store today. I fell in love when I saw her at the cheese counter".

I wrote this line around the time of our 2nd album, to illustrate how I don't like to write. These days, I'm finding that there's a lot of freedom in this line, and that describing things for what they are gains you alot of freedom. I like the line now. I think it's good. I use the word 'good' intentionally, because you're always told, "never use the word 'good', there are thousands of better words to more accurately describe something..."

Don't believe it.

'Good' is one of the best words I know. It's an accurate barometer, when it's meant. "How do you really feel?" "I feel good." It's one syllable, easy to understand, mellow and confident. It is the opposite of Bad. Good is the ember. It sits there and smolders for you. It does it's job quietly. If you're, lucky, you know what Good feels like. Sometimes Good in life is rare, but when it's there, you know it, and it feels good.

"I walked to the store today. I fell in love when I saw her at the cheese counter".

I like the line now. I think it's good. But the line never really happened to me, so I didn't put it in a song. If you're going to be so plain spoken, it has to be true. When it's true, there's nothing to hide. There is a lot of merit to that kind of writing, though it's still the challenge to say something in a way that hasn't been said over and over again, the same as before and before...

Unless, of course, it's simply good and true. And, in rock and roll music, people relate to the cheese counter.

So cheese is good, but only if it's real.

I liked that line of reasoning so I bought their CD from iTunes and have been happy with pretty much all of it. So you be the judge. Of course, you're watching this video online so I'm not sure if the hotness will really come through. And? That line "So cheese is good, but only if it's real"? Words to live by, my friend. Now you can't say you didn't read anything profound today.

Meh.

That's about all the enthusiam I can muster today. I'm tired. Did a lot of driving this past weekend. Well worth it, but tiring nonetheless. Sean decided he loved me and missed me and had to share this revelation with me around 4:45 a.m. this morning. He passed out again. I was wide awake from then on. Good times.

I was debating just letting my blog rot until after Liam's assessment. I am tired of talking about it and thinking about it and trying to plan for it and worrying about it and freaking out and stressing about it. It's just this huge roadblock in our little family's way when we look to the immediate future and I'm tired of having to always be on top of something right now whether it's the school special ed person or the five different specialists we'll be chatting with in three weeks. I'm not one of those psychos that "thrives under pressure". I wither under pressure. Leave me alone already.

On that note, my good friend Betsy requested I answer these questions for her. And seeing as how Betsy is a pastor at our church I somehow feel that I must obey (like God told her to tell me? I'm weird.) So here, now, for your reading pleasure:

5 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Learn to scuba dive
2. Learn a foreign language
3. Take a vacation to a foreign country with someone originally from that foreign country as a traveling companion
4. Get back in shape and actually stay in shape
5. Finish the damned kitchen

5 things I can do:
1. Make a hardcover book from scratch
2. Type fast
3. Dance
4. Make Rusty smile
5. Pretend I'm normal

5 things I cannot do:
1. Pronounce the word "Czeckoslovakia"
2. Wear strappy sandals
3. Go to Target, Ikea or The Queen's Ink without spending money
4. Not eat cheesecake
5. Be normal

5 Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Smile
2. Legs
3. Sense of humor
4. Confidence
5. That little sumpin' sumpin' you just can't describe but you totally know it when it's there

5 things I say most often:
1. Dude...
2. Sean, where are your pants?
3. What the crap...?
4. Why does it stink in here?
5. I'm really sorry (sniff)

5 celebrity crushes:
1. Cary Grant
2. Don Cheedle
3. Harry Connick Jr.
4. Barry Privett (lead singer for Carbon Leaf)
5. Han Solo

5 people I want to do this next:
1. Anyone who reads my blog but has never before left me a comment (Mindy... if you're reading this? This would include you.)
2. Amy Hasse, because she's one of my oldest and dearest friends ever
3. Linda, because I bet she has fascinating answers and because I love her
4. Jodi, because she makes me laugh whenever I read her comments or email
5. Anyone on my "Five celebrity crushes" list

Dear INXS

Dear INXS,

You stink. JD is a poophead.

With no love whatsoever,

Me

P.S. Jordis rocked, but you could have at least picked Marty.