Girly Health - UPDATE

Hmm. Yesterday? Not a good day. Had my appointment with my primary care doctor. Took in my info from the the girly doc, printed out a week's worth of Weight Watcher's food diary to show what food I've been eating and the running I've been doing (down to the time and speed I've been running) and didn't wax or pluck any of the fun little facial hairs because I figured they're "symptoms" and he'd need to see them. I was actually pretty excited to be getting this taken care of, remember? Yeah, not so much.

First hint that things may go bad? I'm telling the doctor about my blood work in Maryland (which is in the chart in front of him) and about my girly doc appointment Friday. He glances down at the chart and says, "That's odd because I don't see anything about glucose in here." Since the nurse from this very office called me last week to let me know they'd gotten my records and the nurse from my old practice in Maryland called me to see if I'd followed up with my new doctor I figured that was a good reason to go ahead and follow up with my doctor, right? He just seemed... irritated? I think that's a good word to describe it. So I mentioned that yes, that's a little weird considering that was the whole point of the appointment and start telling him about the reason I went to the girly doctor and what's been going on.

First I mention the acne and weird little facial hairs. He didn't write anything down, didn't ask if how long this had been going on or if I had any other symptoms. So I also mention the fact that I'd never had a weight problem before and the only other time I'd needed to lose weight (which was after two pregnancies) I followed the program and did it with no problem. I showed him the print outs from Weight Watchers. He didn't look at them. But he did start talking:

Dr.: Your body is like a checking account. You put energy in, in the form of food, just like you'd put money into your account. You take energy out when you exercise, just like making a withdrawal from your account...
Me: What?
Dr: At the end of the month, if you have more energy in your "account" than what you use? You won't lose weight.
Me: Uh, ok, but what about this then? (holding up print outs) And why is my body no responding to the very same thing it did two years ago? And why is this weight more around my middle and torso (probably first time in my life I ever said "torso") instead of around my hips and thighs like any other time I gained a few pounds?
Dr.: See this piece of paper? (holds up paper) This is your checking account statement...
Me: ...the hell?!
DR.: ...at the end of the month, if this shows more in than out? No matter what you say, you won't be losing any weight.
Me: Are you kidding me? ::sniff::

Oh, yes, the crying started. This doctor had no clue as to what I had come in for. He didn't pay any attention to anything I'd said - didn't pay attention to the acne, the hair, the weird weight gain. If I hadn't had everything written down by my girly doc I doubt he'd have done anything at all. I started sniffling. That's the first time I've ever had a doctor talk down to me like I'm a ridiculous child. I know how my body works. I know to eat less and exercise more. If I didn't, I'd have had a weight problem long before this started. He has my records, he can see (if he looked) that my weight is higher than normal for me.

Aside from the weight, this guy has to have some clue that this PCOS issue also means Rusty and I won't be having any more kids unless we want to go through a lot of fun drug interaction. Right now I need to start taking birth control pills to get a regular period again. You have to be ovulating and having a period to get pregnant. But you can't get pregnant while taking birth control pills. So stop the pills... and stop ovulating and you're back to square one. PCOS is one of the most common reasons for infertility. He has to know that. And yet no questions about whether I was ok with this or if we'd been wanting any more kids. Do we want more kids? 99% sure we'd have said "No, thank you." But having that 1% taken away with no say in the matter really cements the deal for you and that's a hard thing to think about - having no choice anymore.

Now, I'd like to pause for a moment. Some of you may be thinking, "Well, doctors can be kind of bad when it comes to personal matters or empathy or whatever." And, you'd be right. Except? I found this guy through the Christian Blue Pages. Yes, against my better judgement. I don't automatically go for "Christian advertising" for this very reason. This doctor's resume is very impressive and his resources are another reason why we chose him (he runs a sports injury clinic as well) so I figured it was a good mix. The first appointment we had he asked if he could pray for us because (he said) it sounded like we'd had a hectic couple of months with the move and Liam's therapy. I was a little surprised but it was kind of nice I guess. He's a nice guy and was great with Sean at his appointment. But when something really personal happens and I could use a little bit of extra understanding? You'd think Mr. Christian Doctor Man would be the first in line seeing as how he really should understand the implications of how this will affect a lot of personal areas of my life. But no. Instead I get the condescending "Your body is a checking account" talk and when he sees my total amazement at his lack of sensitivity he leaves the room, comes back with my lab orders and walks out again (I'm still sniffing and obviously trying to not fall apart.) He does turn around once in the hallway and says, "If you have any questions don't hesistate to call me!" and walks away. So much for all those bible versus plastered on your website and your Christian music playing in the waiting room. Where's all that "Can I pray for you?" crap now?

Maybe I'm just irritable (or hormonal! Surprised he didn't throw in the old "you're just hormonal" angle to really seal the deal and get me going.) But I was insulted. Was I talked down to because I'm chubby? Because he's a Christian man in a position of authority and I'm a woman? Because he's a clueless wonder and had no idea what to say? I don't know and I don't care at this point. If you're going to claim to be a "Christian Doctor" and a "Christian Practice" and advertise it all over the place then follow through and even if you do think I'm just a hormonal whack-job? This is what I mean... use Christianity to suck people in and then once you've got them, treat them like dookie. Has happened at churches we've been to while I was growing up, happened in school all the time and that's why I avoid "Christian professionals" who us Christianity in their advertising. Liam's therapist is a Believer but he doesn't advertise it. And he's amazing. God really does work through him. This doctor I saw yesterday? I know I'm not supposed to be judging and blah blah blah but I'm going to go with my initial feeling that God would have whacked him on the head and asked what the crap he though he was doing talking to someone like that.

And I guess this post kind of reveals my feelings about "Christians." I'm scared of them. I'm scared of anyone who uses their Christianity to gain anything other than their salvation. I love people who are sensitive, sometimes unsure, funny, sympathic, occasionally angry about something, empathetic, and sometimes not very nice and who also happen to be followers of Christ and will openly admit they're imperfect and sorry about that. But I can't stand "Christians" who are "Christian" when it suits them and otherwise have no use for you. Maybe I'm being harsh. But I had a hard day yesterday.

And my "checking account" is a little low this morning because I've yet to make my daily caffeine deposit.