Wednesday, April 27, 2005

This house hates us

Ok, so this house? Totally hates us. With the white hot passion of a thousand suns. Apparently this house only adores Rusty's mom and that love does not extend to her offspring. And get this (this makes things even more exciting), the hatred is spreading. Now the yard is getting into the act.

The house apparently made a deal with the lawn mower:

House: "Bwa ha ha ha ha ha... Lawn mower, thall shalt stall at least 15 times while the lawn is being mown. "

Lawn Mower: "Yes, master. Yesss, maaaa-ster."

House: "And just for kicks, when the evil homeowner tries to restart you for the 16th time? Thou shalt go all out. Let them have it!"

Lawn Mower: "I have the perfect plan..."

And since I had no part in this conversation, I had no previous knowledge of the stupidity that was about to be unleashed upon me as an unsuspecting, law abiding, lawn mowing citizen:

Me: [Mowing along]

Lawn Mower: [stall]

Me: [Restart mower]

** Repeat this 14 more times **

Lawn Mower: [stalls for the 16th time]

Me: "...the hell?" [pulls handle-on-a-string that starts lawn mower]

** Handle-on-a-string that starts lawn mower comes completely, all the way, out of lawn mower and lands across the yard **

Lawn Mower: "Ha ha ha ha ha. You lose."

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