Poop.

Yes. That is my basic feeling right now. Actually, it's an edited version of my basic feeling. A memory I have of my Grandpa Joe's voice yelling "Horseshit!" (usually came out sounding like one word.) I'm going to warn you right now, this is not a perky post. It is a slightly depressed, irritated, tired and unsure post.

We have been back from Cincinnati now for almost two weeks. Good visit, more on that when I'm a little more upbeat and I can do it the justice it deserves. With pictures, even.

So this is my list of irritations: Sean is acting very "four years old" lately and it's driving me out of my mind. Rusty has interviewed with three different companies now and we're waiting to hear if and when we'll be moving. I? Am fat. Or I feel fat, anyway. I miss running. Which is very lame on my part. Because? We have a ginormous treadmill in our family room. Smack in front of the TV. But is my lumpy butt on it? Oh, noooooo. Of course not. Of course, if I sit here long enough I can think of every single thing that's bugging me -- the chainsaw won't work long enough to cut down the bottom half of the bush out front, the kitchen still isn't finished and I have drywall dust in my hair, I want a damn basement already... blah blah blah blah blah...

Then I go and read this and remember that I am so blessed beyond belief compared to most people on earth. Just being born in the U.S. is a major thing. Liam can walk into school not having to worry that guerilla fighters will kidnap him to fight as a child soldier. My home, the one I so endlessly complain about - complain about renovations, no less - is save from soldiers, insurgents, militia, armed gunmen and kidnappers. My biggest worry at night is whether the boys will stay asleep so I can get some sleep, not whether I'll wake up to find them missing having been kidnapped. Or wake up to find them returning from their night in a shelter as the only way of keeping them from being kidnapped.

I know, this post is getting so very depressing. And you know the worst part of it? I don't have to make that terrible stuff up! It's happening, every day, to millions of people. We're caught up in the war in Iraq (and I'm not condoning or condemning that) that there is even more tragedy taking place and it's getting missed by many of us. Africa -- Aids, genocide, rape, kidnapping. Men, women and children are being wiped out. It sounds so cliche, and old news. Because, really, isn't there always some country in trouble or some people dying or children starving? We're so used to it that we don't even hear it or see it anymore. And sometimes it's not even reported on as much any more.

I stumbled onto a site called savedarfur.org and found a place to send a postcard to President Bush asking him to make good on his promise to not let the genocide continue (which I applaud the president for caring and hope he acts on it.) I clicked on a photo one another site and was shocked to see photos from a relief organization that showed people -- including a young child -- that were murdered in their homes. I've never seen a photo of a murdered child. I'm still crying, actually (if you don't believe me, click here and see if you can stand to not do something . Be warned, these are tough to see.)

So. What to do. At first, I was going to send out a mass email to everyone I knew. Then I remembered what I do with 90% of the emails I get where the subject line leads me to believe it's a "Forward." I'm not sure I even understand the scope of this enough to make someone else understand, and I'm so thankful for the fact that my life has been blessed enough to not be able to wrap my brain around it really. It might sound over-dramatic, but the reality is that the genocide in Darfur is up there with the Holocaust. And how many of us that didn't live at the time have ever wondered, "How did people not know? How could they not do something?!" We've seen clips of Hotel Rwanda and felt our brief moments of horror and sympathy. Then we often go back to complaining about our kitchens. Or our jobs. Or whatever.

**I'm not in any way saying that we have to right to our feelings about things. I, myself, am borderline depressed by the overwhelming feelings of "what next?" and "what if" and how the hell am I supposed to be a responsible adult and prepare for the future when I don't know what the crap the future is going to be?!**

Anyway, here are some links. Please check them out. Take a few seconds to fill out the electronic postcard (it's not some long form and it only takes a few seconds, seriously.) Read up on this. It's going on. And as fellow humans, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children... those people deserve the same respect, safety and right to life as we and our families and friends do. This isn't a "Democratic" or "Liberal" or "Religious" thing. It's actually the first time in a while I've heard of something that support from so many differing points of view (the One Campaign is another -- sort of related, see the link over to the right there.) Please just do this.

Click this link for a history of what's going on and why

SaveDarfur.org

SaveDarfur is also calling on churches and Faith Communities to pray for the region: Click here for info

Darfur: A Genocide We Can Stop (this page has a graphic photo on it, be prepared)

Seriously, I know this is depressing stuff. It'll be hard to take, but "not knowing" or ignoring it won't make it go away. But if enough of us face it, hopefully it will go away.