Olympic fun.

So I've been MIA. We went to Cincinnati the week before last. Then I spent last week trying to simultaneously do laundry, shop for birthday presents for Liam and picking up supplies for 24 goodie bags for his class. And last Saturday? We went to the Washington Home and Garden Show for the sole purpose of seeing Clive Pearse and Lisa LaPorta from HGTV. Kind of weird (I've never gone out of my way to see anyone famous before) but interesting. And they were both very nice people. And Clive's adorable with his British accent and cheeky sense of humor (see how I snuck in the British thing there? Yeah, I'm clever like that.)

But really? The one single thing that has held my attention and had me staying up glued to the TV during otherwise precious sleep time? The Olympics. We are crazy for the Olympics. We recorded quite a bit of the games to watch later each night and were able to zoom through the not-so-interesting parts (including 99% of the opening and closing ceremonies.) Honestly? I'm not really much of a figure-skating kind of girl. Most of the skaters annoyed me. Except the Japanese woman who won. Because? She was all kinds of graceful and non-falling like. And she didn't dress up her arm like a swan (yeah, that's a jab at you, Johnny Weir.)

The big events here in the Sapper household? Luge. Bobsled. Downhill skiing. Snowboarding. Speed skating. We're equal opportunity cheerleaders, too. Of course, if the U.S. wins we're all excited. But really? If there was a great contest, and the person that won was just amazing? We're just as happy. To see the 19 year-old Dutch girl win the speed skate with the amazing time no one was expecting? Awesome. Watching Ben Raich from Austria win on the skis made in part from wood cut on his family's farm? Really cool. But please, let me make sure you understand that seeing Shaun White from right here in the U.S. kill in his snowboard finals? That rocked!

So here, for the joy of anyone who didn't watch the Olympics but feels strangely unfilled and strongly desires to see what they missed, is my "End O' the Games" summary:

Opening ceremonies were slow. But then the performers formed this giant ski-jumper complete with frosty bursts of breath and went through the whole process of the ski-jump. Cool from the arial shot. Otherwise? Weird mix of random music (what does "Video Killed the Radio Star" have to do with winter sports or international competition?), Ferraris, flaming skaters and waltzing people danced in cow print. Those kooky Italians. Also? Bob Costas, nice as he seems, just cannot be quiet for any length of time. And he apparently has a thing for Kim Carnes.

Next, we move on to the events. Lots of really impressive displays of sportsmanship: Joey Cheek donating all of his medal money to charity (did you know they win money for each medal? I didn't. Until Bob Costas told me.) Or the Norwegian cross-country skier that fell and was in last place but his teammates rushed to the front of the pack to slow everyone down so the guy could catch up. And the rest of the pack having the grace to allow it and realize that beating a champion isn't fun if that's the only way you can beat him. There was also the coach from one ski team giving a skier from another country a new pole after hers cracked when she wouldn't have otherwise been able to go on. To that poor U.S. speed skater who lost her grandfather to a fatal heart attack the night before her race - in Torino, where her whole family had traveled to see her Olympic debut? No one would have thought worse of you if you had decided not to skate. But seeing you try, crying quietly as you got on the ice without making a scene or demanding to be the center of attention was just heartbreaking and yet strangely encouraging. Same goes for Kildow (the U.S. skier who tore herself up in a bad fall and competed in all of her races anyway) as well as the French skier who fell and continued to compete with her face taped up. All of those people, and I'm sure tons more whose stories didn't make it on TV, are the real reason why Rusty and I are so enthralled with the Olympics. The competition is amazing and it's just taken to a new level when the athlete's realize that they are not there for themselves but for the betterment of their sport as pure sport and to show the world what each of their countries is capable of.

Now. Having said that? Speed skating boys? Stop being babies. You each had valid reasons to be upset with each other in the beginning. But? Get. Over. It. You totally stole the spotlight from the Italian skater who should have been, by all rights, the center of attention seeing as how he won and all. In his home country. Which was hosting your sorry butts.

And Bode Miller? I whole-heartedly agree with your commercial that says that kids shouldn't quit sports just because they may never be "the best." Otherwise? Dude. Spending 11 minutes to inspect the course (when the other skiers spend an hour?) to not only not win, but not even really show up and give your best? Dude, seriously. Go back to your RV and think about what you've done, young man.

And skier girls who wore tiger ears and tiaras down the course? What the crap?! Yeah, it's "cute". But these are the Olympics. Austria? Germany? Pretty much everyone else (including much of the U.S. and totally kick ass skier Picaboo Street) think you are totally not understanding what the Olympics are all about. Wieners. Lindsey Kildow was injured badly and still skied better than you in at least two races because she was all about the skiing.

Then? There are the multiple male figure skaters that said that they didn't spend all their time training because they "had lives" and other stuff to do like partying and whatnot. Um... dudes? Most world-class athletes do spend pretty much all their time training. I mean, they're allowed to eat and go potty and sleep and such. But their training is what they do. This attitude, though, probably explains why you wiped out in various parts of your events. Just sayin.

Ok, well, let's move on to something a little more fun. Olympic nicknames. Oh yeah. Good, bad or just plain annoying you have to admit the nicknames are kinda of fun. "The Flying Tomato". "The Speeding White Sausage" (ha HA ha ha ha ha ha... love that one - that's him on the right) "The Blitz from Pitz" (skier Bennie Raich.) It's cool to see the human side of majorly accomplished athletes.

Another fun thing? The Dutch speed skating fans. The people in orange. Holy. Crap. They are insane. They bring their own band. And the band's trip to each Olympics is funded by the Dutch Olympic Committee. They dance. They dress in odd costumes. They pretty much cheer for anyone who turns in an amazing skating performance regardless of nationality because they just love the sport. I told Rusty I had no idea the Dutch were so much fun (his reply: "smoking pot is legal over there, you know. That's why they're nuts.") P.S. The Dutch flag is red, white and blue. We were confused by the orange. Rusty said every one of their sports teams wears orange, even their national soccer team. Turns out the Dutch royal family is of the "House of Orange". Ahhhhh. Olympics = very educational. And funny (...pot smoking skating maniacs.)

And no Olympic talk can be complete without mentioning the amazing play-by-play offered by figure skating legend (apparently) Dick Button. Like I said, we're not into figure skating. But Rusty and I were totally glued to the TV waiting to see what kind of comment Dick would make next. It all started when he commented one of the pairs with "that's the ugliest position I've ever seen" and it all went downhill from there. The man is one of the most blunt - and therefore most hysterical - announcers we've ever heard. At one point, Rusty said that if Dick Button were a drinking game and you had to take a drink every time he made an outstanding comment? We'd have gone through a bottle of wine before the first commercial. We heart Dick Button.

Ok, well, that about does it. Yeah, I watched the closing ceremonies in fast forward. Lots of singing (why was Ricky Martin there?) And yay for the Canadians hosting the next Winter Games. Liked their snowman logo guy. Even stopped long enough to watch the guy being blown around by the giant wind tunnel fan thing. But aside from that and seeing a few of the interviews with the athletes (you go with your bad zen self, Apolo Anton Ohno) the only other highlight was hearing Bob Costas go off on the Harvard Dean of Admissions by name for not admitting Joey Cheek last year. Good one, Bob.

More riveting blogginess later.