Play nice

So this morning I was reading another blog (Wendi Speciale's post from today, July 28th). She talks about trying to teach her son to be considerate of other's feelings and how our words can really impact other people. This topic hit a huge nerve with me. Teaching our kids to be nice? A big deal to me. And I don't understand why it's not a big deal to so many others.

Last weekend we had the pleasure of spending time with my wonderful friend Linda and her family. Linda and her husband, Bryan, kept telling us how nice our kids were. Rusty and I were just as impressed with their own children. But during the conversation over dinner with both families that night, I realized that we've been truly blessed in that most of our closest friends have kids who are very nice as well.

Now, for the record, when I use the word nice? I don't mean perfectly behaved, un-childlike or wimpy little people who get walked all over. Kids are, after all, still kids. And they're still learning. When I use the term nice I mean nice. Understanding that other people have feelings just like we do. And that our words have the power to totally tear someone else apart (even if the other person doesn't show it). Nice means to share. Nice mean to tell someone they've done a good job or compliment them on something. I will never forget this past Mother's Day when Liam walked into the restaurant where we met my in-laws. The first thing he said was "I like your dress!" to my niece. It seems so small. And it is. But? It's also one nice comment that she may never remember rather than one mean one she would probably never forget.

Unfortunately, we do have a few rather "not nice" children in our lives (I used to refuse to call a child "mean" or "bad". But I've started to wonder lately). We caught one child in particular teasing Liam and then turning around and telling a friend, "See? I could make him cry any time I wanted to". What is that? The kid that said it? Is five years-old. Five. That just makes my brain hurt. We've started avoiding these children. They are few and far between. But their behavior is uncomfortable to be around for adults as well as children. And when the parents don't correct it? It gives Liam and others on the recieving end the impression that it's ok to be treated that way. And that it's ok to treat others that way. And we are not having that.

Being nice doesn't mean we all have to agree or get along. But it does mean that if we don't agree we still don't go for the other's person's personal traits, looks, habits, beliefs or anything else that can be used against them.

Seems simple. So why is it so hard for so many people to do?